I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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