i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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