She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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