My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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