Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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