I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
