Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
