Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
