Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The dick lei will go down in squad history
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
