walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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