I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
