My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
