Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
