Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
