Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
