Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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