I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Randomize
