I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
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im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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