Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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