um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize