was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's the barista slut.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
