i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
love makes seman taste better
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
