FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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