Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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