That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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