my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
