I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
