Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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