The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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