Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The power of my boobs compel you
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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