youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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