My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
