he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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