11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
