Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
