I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
