i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
