My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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