Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
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Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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