I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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