on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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