Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am naked and annoyed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
