Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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