Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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