So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He passed out mid-signature
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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