So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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