im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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