Betty ford says i'm here all night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
