So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i will never coherently bang her
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
