Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
one two three fourrrrnication!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
