I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize