Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize