My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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