saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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