two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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